Faculty Lounge – Center of Commerce!By Humorist John P. Wood
Greetings from Fuddle River Schools. The board met this week to listen to concerns from high school teachers regarding their faculty lounge.
According to the teachers, Principal Batson gave permission to retirement planning consultants to set up shop in the lounge. The idea was that teachers could then visit with the consultants and the consultants would provide free coffee and cookies.
Next, Batson gave permission to insurance salespeople who provided pizza and pop.
Then came the booksellers – they brought sandwiches. Tupperware, Mary Kay, and other multi-level marketing distributors were next and they brought cake, donuts, brownies, and gourmet coffee. Now, according to the teachers, the entire faculty lounge is full of people selling stuff and giving away free food. The teachers reported that, while they appreciate the free food, it is now impossible to relax or to get any work done in the lounge. The teachers asked the board to act so that they might have their lounge back.
Board member Lee Burley was the first to respond, “Does the pizza have onions? I don’t like onions. Not on pizza, anyway.”
Board member Henry Gullickson added, “What kind of pizza are we talking about – thin or thick crust?”
Then board member Alice Ferkel asked, “Do they have those cookies with the frosting and the pretty sprinkles on top? And, do you know, are there nuts in the brownies?”
After the teachers walked out of the meeting, the board directed Principal Batson to invite all of the salespeople to the next board meeting. Batson was asked to remind the salespeople to bring their snacks so they could be inspected and sampled before any policy on use of the faculty lounge is considered.
And that’s it this week from Fuddle River Schools.
Copyright JP Wood LearningLaffs.com