Top 25 Signs It’s Too Cold in Your ClassroomBy Humorist John P. Wood
The top 25 signs it’s too cold in your classroom
25. It takes ten minutes of uncomfortable sitting each morning to defrost your chair.
24. You’ve been feeling blue lately, but only because that’s the color of your complexion.
23. You try to put on a sweater because you’re chilled, but it won’t fit over the coat you’re already wearing.
22. If you don’t put your lunch away, it freezes on your desk.
21. You can’t see the kids in the back row due to the steam from students breathing.
20. You have to use that blue windshield stuff to clean the students’ desks.
19. Your students dress in so many layers that they have difficulty getting into their desks.
18. Every morning you find another custodian’s wet mop frozen to your classroom floor.
17. You have to warn the students that if they fall asleep, they may not wake up again.
16. For attendance, students have to wear name tags on their ski masks.
15. You’re students don’t fidget – they shiver.
14. Every time you mention Florida, California, or Arizona, you hear the muffled, mittened applause of your students.
13. Students keep bringing ice fishing houses and portable propane heaters to class.
12. Your classroom computer keeps freezing up and it’s not a server or software problem.
11. Students moving around to fend off frostbite keep tripping over all of the electric blanket cords.
10. You open a window and no one notices.
9. You’re able keep a box of Popsicles ® in your file cabinet for special treats.
8. You’ve had to warn your students that flipping quickly through their textbooks will expose them to dangerous windchills.
7. Your students are petitioning to get hypothermia listed as a learning disability.
6. Your students are requesting mitten-compatible keyboards for the computer.
5. Every time you pass out worksheets, the students start a fire.
4. You’ve stopped bringing hot coffee to class because, when you do, the steam merges with the cold air and it snows on your desk.
3. The last time you clapped the erasers, they shattered.
2. You’ve had to switch to a hairpiece with Thinsulate.
1. The custodian was just in to salt and sand the aisles.